$1689COIN is a satirical expression of Reformed culture, humor, and theological engagement.
It is intended purely as a digital artwork and meme project celebrating the historic truths embodied by the number “1689” and the community around it. $1689COIN is not an investment opportunity, security, financial product, or theological authority. ReformedCoin.com is not affiliated with any church denomination, financial institution, or religious organization. We exist purely for the memes and the glory of God (in that order).
A digital token with no utility, no promises, and absolutely no chance of becoming your idol.
Just pure, unapologetic, Reformed satire on the blockchain.
Not financial advice. Read Romans 9.
Short answer? A meme. A joke. A rebuke. A community.
Longer answer?
It’s a satirical token forged from the fires of crypto culture, Reformed theology, and millennial cynicism.
Named after the 1689 Second London Baptist Confession, $1689COIN is for those who believe that sola fide & sound doctrine matter more than Vibes.
🔥 100% meme-fueled
🛡️ Confessionally based, not vibes-based
📜 Inspired by dead guys with beards
🧠 More theology per byte than 95% of Twitter
Project | Year | Meme Factor | Theology | Still Breathing? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Jesus Coin | 2017 | 6/10 (satire) | 0/10 | ❌ |
BiblePay | 2018 | 1/10 | 5/10 | ✅ (barely) |
God Coin | ??? | 2/10 | 0/10 | ❌ (rugpulled) |
1689COIN | 2025 | 10/10 | 1689/10 | ✅ Soli Deo Gloria |
Project | Meme Factor | Still Breathing? |
|---|---|---|
Jesus Coin | 6/10 (satire) | ❌ |
BiblePay | 1/10 | ✅ (barely) |
God Coin | 2/10 | ❌ (rugpulled) |
1689COIN | 10/10 | ✅ Soli Deo Gloria |
We’re not here to tithe on-chain. We’re here to meme for the King. Yes, a meme coin with a confessional statement.
🪙 $1689COIN is built on five pillars:
Sola Scriptura – Because God’s Word > whitepapers
Sola Fide – Faith alone. Not fiat. Not NFTs.
Sola Gratia – Even meme coins are under grace
Solus Christus – No messiah but Christ (not Elon, not Satoshi)
Soli Deo Gloria – To the glory of God… and the laughter of saints
We’re not a church. But we’ll gladly troll false teachers, fight for truth, and laugh while we do it...OSTEEN...Cough....Cough
Not a DAO. Not a VC. Not a cult. Not the people trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.
✍️ Reformed Writers • 🎨 Meme Makers • 🦾 Theobros • 🎤 Preachers with too much coffee
Backed by conviction. Fueled by community. Secured by whatever God wills.
Right now?
Absolutely nothing. And that’s the point.
• No roadmap.
• No promises.
• No centralized anything.
This isn’t a tech startup. It’s a protest.
A digital psalm of imprecation against clown world crypto and shallow Christian branding.
It’s a satirical witness.
A tribal marker.
A pixelated middle finger to lukewarm evangelicalism and hyper-serious crypto bros alike.
“But where’s the utility?”
Read Romans 9 and call us in the morning.
That said…
We’re not fools. We know the Lord builds His Kingdom through ordinary means and unexpected tools.
If this ridiculous token somehow gathers saints, resources, and joyful noise—
we’ll use it.
We want to build something subversively good. Something joyful, bold, and useful for the body of Christ.
Imagine a decentralized war chest for meme warfare, Christian artists, Reformed missionaries, and based pastors who refuse to bend the knee to Baal.
That future isn’t guaranteed.
It’s not on a whitepaper.
And it’s not something you buy—it’s something we build.
Together.
DISCLAIMER: 1689COIN is a speculative meme cryptocurrency with no guaranteed utility or value at this time. This communication is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Cryptocurrency is highly volatile and can result in total loss. Do not invest more than you are willing to lose. Always consult a licensed financial advisor before making any investment decisions. 1689COIN is not registered with any financial authority and should not be treated as a security or regulated investment product.
